It takes a lot of courage to disappoint your family to be true to yourself; a lot of courage to start saying ‘no’ to others and ‘yes’ to yourself.
1. It will all end one day.
When the time will come for you to leave this world, looking back at all that happened, you will most probably come to the realization that life was never about pleasing your family or anyone else, but rather about YOU being true to yourself and true to all that life created you to be. Always remember that. Better to disappoint your family than to look back with regret.
2. Your life is yours and yours alone.
Your life is yours and yours alone, and nobody, not even your family has the right to deprive, and keep you from walking your path and speaking your Truth. Always remember that. You are responsible for every decision you make, or do not make.
3. No amount of family love is worth betraying your own soul.
We all need to feel like we have a place where we belong, where we are loved and welcomed. And families are usually the best place to feel this way. But if you need to shrink, or even lose your sense of self in order for you to feel welcomed, loved and approved by your family, then you need to take some time to yourself to think things through. No amount of family love, acceptance or approval is worth betraying your own soul.
4. The only safe place is in Being Authentic.
The reason why so many people are afraid of ‘disappointing’ their family to be true to themselves is because they want to feel safe and secure, failing to realize that real safety can only be found in being authentic and living life with integrity.
If your family loves you for something that’s not real, for something that’s not authentic, then you will never feel safe. The only safe place you will ever find is in being true to yourself, your path and your soul’s purpose. That’s the only place where you will feel truly safe. Why? Real safety can only be found in being authentic and living life with integrity.
5. You weren’t born to hide, you were born to Shine!
Families, friendships and love in general, are all meant to encourage, inspire and empower you to grow and evolve. They are all meant to help you create a life that brings you joy, peace and meaning. To lift you up, not tear you down; to help you shine, and not cause you to hide. And if any of them is causing you to hide instead of shine, to shrink instead of growing, then you need to take a look at your relationships and see what needs to be changed.
6. Your Soul is in your keeping.
“A king may move a man, a father may claim a son, but that man can also move himself, and only then does that man truly begin his own game. Remember that howsoever you are played or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone, even though those who presume to play you be kings or men of power. When you stand before God, you cannot say, “But I was told by others to do thus,” or that virtue was not convenient at the time. This will not suffice. Remember that.” ~ from the movie, Kingdom of Heaven
7. Your family members will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.
You are not a puppet and your family is not a master puppeteer. The only reason why your family can pursue you to say ‘yes’ when you should be saying ‘no’, and ‘make’ you to do things you don’t really feel like doing it’s because you gave it all that power over you. Through your words, or lack of them, and through your actions, or inactions, you taught your family that it’s okay to treat you the way it does. But things can change, if you want them to. If you want things to be different, you can make them so. The power is in your hands.
8. By being true to yourself you give your family permission to do the same.
One of the most powerful and most profound lessons I have learned from life is that by being true to yourself, by allowing your Light to shine, and by giving yourself permission to become ONE with all that life created you to be, you automatically give those around you permission to do the same. Being true to yourself might cause some disruptions and disturbances in your family, but eventually it all be all right. You will be all right.
9. Forgive and let go.
No matter what your family story might be, and no matter how long you have been doing things in ways that felt ‘right’ for others but not for yourself, it is very important to understand that we all do the best we can with what we know. And when we will know better, we will do better.
There is a deep need in each and every one of us to love and be loved, to belong and to feel welcomed and accepted by our family, and by the world we live in. And whenever we feel threatened, we act in ways that might not always be kind and loving. But that’s not because we’re bad people, but only because we are human…