Life “Should” Be but …

 
Life is change. You must accept the fact that things may never go back to how they used to be, and that this ending is really a new beginning.
Even though you cannot control everything that happens, you can control your attitude about what happens.
Every difficult life situation can be an excuse for hopelessness or an opportunity for growth, depending on what you choose to do with it.
Daily effort is never wasted, even when it leads to discouraging results. For it always makes you stronger, more experienced, and more educated in the long run.
If you want to be effective and bright, let go of your need to always be right.
When you hear only what you want to hear, you’re not really listening. Listen to what you don’t want to hear too. That’s how you grow.
Be humble. Be teachable. The world is bigger than your view of the world. There’s always room for a new perspective, a new step, a new possibility… a new beginning.

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– If you notice yourself getting angry and flustered, it’s a sign that you need to pause, take a deep breath, and practice the remaining steps.
Resist the urge to act in haste. – The greatest harm comes whenever you act out of anger – actions that might include giving up too soon, consuming unhealthy substances, or even attacking someone else. So whenever you notice anger building up inside you, try not to take any form of destructive action. Instead, turn inward and mindfully assess whatever it is that’s arising.
Sit with your feelings, and give them space. – Turn directly towards the tension you feel, and just be a witness. See it as something that’s passing through you, but is NOT YOU. It’s a feeling, a dark cloud passing across a vast sky, not a permanent fixture. Treat it that way. Instead of obsessing yourself with the dark cloud’s presence, try to broaden your perspective – give it the space it needs to pass. Sometimes you need a little distance to see things clearly again.
Be OK with not knowing. – Now that you’ve given yourself some necessary space, tell yourself, “I don’t know why things are this way.” And be OK with this unknowing. Give yourself full permission to not have concrete answers in this moment.

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The bottom line is that when life dishes you a harsh dose of reality, the best first steps involve sitting silently and witnessing the thoughts passing through you. Just witnessing at first, not interfering and not even judging, because by judging too rapidly you have lost the pure witness. The moment you rush to say, “this is absolutely terrible” or “things should be different,” you have already jumped head first into the chaotic tension.

It takes practice to create a gap between the witnessing of thoughts and your response to them.

 

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